Oct 31 2007
I Can’t Care Anymore
Rumors are like the wild fires happening in California right now; they are uncontrolable, they can’t be contained and they continue to spread with no end insight. Years ago there was rumor that got started about me that hurt me really bad and it changed the way people thought of me. People didn’t see it as a rumor they saw it as the truth, but it wasn’t the truth at all it was so far from the truth….I’m not trying to dig up the past, but I still feel like people are judging me this way and maybe writing about it will make me feel better. I thought I could just sit back and over time this would go away, but I don’t feel like it has. I want people to judge me for who I am not who I’m not. What really erks me the most is the fact that the people who judge me most of the time don’t even take the time to get to know me and to find out the truth about me. I just don’t understand it and I’m tired of it. I’m realizing that the solution to my problem is to simply stop letting other people’s thoughts and opinions about me control my life. I’m just going to be me. Who else can I be? People can say what they want about me. I can’t control what others say, think, or do, but I can control how I react to it and how I allow others to impact my life. People effect other people’s lives in ways they are unaware of for the good as well as the bad. I think it’s good to care, but I believe that there are times and situations when it’s ok not to care. I’m just not going to let this world get me down anymore. I guess I just need to forgive and forget, well not necessarily forget, but to learn from all of this. I truely believe that everything in life happens for a reason and something can be learnt from it. Every thing that happens can be a learning experience if you let it.
One thing that I have learned from this situation is that I can’t be afraid to give people the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t base my opinions of others based on what other people think of them because then I’m just being judgemental. There was this new employee at work and I overheard a lot of negative stuff about this person, but once I started working with her I found out that she was really nice, she helped me out with my responsibilites, she was a good worker, and she was just the total opposite of what I heard about her and I’m glad that I didn’t listen to the gossip and judge her. People are unpredictable and sometimes difficult to interpret and this blog is making no sense at all, but that’s ok.
“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become –because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be…It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”
-C.S. Lewis
Tip Of The Day:
Make/find time out of every busy day to do something you enjoy because life’s too short to not be enjoyed.
